Why Self-Care Is Not Selfish (And Why You Deserve It)
If you’ve ever felt guilty for putting yourself first, you’re not alone. As women, many of us have been taught,directly or indirectly that our worth is tied to how much we give to others. We’ve learned to measure our days by what we accomplish for our family, our friends, our job, our community… and often, the only person left off the list is ourselves. But here’s the truth: taking care of yourself is not selfish. In fact, it’s one of the most selfless things you can do.
You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup. Think of yourself like a phone battery. When you run low, your energy, patience, and motivation all drain. You can try to keep giving and pushing through, but eventually just like that phone…..you shut down.
When you prioritize your own needs—whether that’s rest, movement, nutrition, or simply a moment of peace—you recharge your battery. A recharged you shows up with more energy, presence, and patience for the people and responsibilities you care about.
The Guilt Trap…. Here’s where many women get stuck:
“If I take an hour for myself, I’m taking it away from my kids.”
“If I say no to this extra task, I’m letting people down.”
“Other people have it worse, I shouldn’t need a break.”
This guilt isn’t a reflection of your worth—it’s a sign of the unrealistic expectations you’ve been carrying. Saying “yes” to yourself does not mean you’re saying “no” to everyone else. It means you’re creating the foundation to keep showing up in the ways that matter.
Self-Care Makes You a Better Leader in Your Life. When you invest in yourself, you set a powerful example. Your kids, partner, coworkers, and friends see that it’s possible to set boundaries, prioritize health, and pursue joy without apology. That’s not just good for you—it’s good for everyone around you. Self-care teaches others that your needs matter, and by extension, that their needs matter too.
What Self-Care Really Looks Like. Self-care isn’t always bubble baths and spa days. Sometimes it’s:
Going for a walk instead of finishing that last load of laundry tonight.
Scheduling your workouts like non-negotiable meetings.
Saying no to an extra project so you can actually sleep.
Asking for help when you need it.
Letting yourself rest without “earning it.”
It’s choosing habits and moments that restore your mind, body, and spirit.
Reframing the Narrative. What if, instead of thinking “I’m taking time away”, you started telling yourself:
“I’m investing in my energy so I can show up more fully.”
“My health is just as important as my to-do list.”
“Taking care of myself is an act of love for the people I care about.”
Because it is.
Bottom line: Taking care of yourself is not a luxury,it’s a necessity. The people who love you want you healthy, happy, and here for the long run. That means honoring your needs without apology.
So the next time guilt whispers, “You’re being selfish”, remind yourself: Self-care is not selfish. It’s the foundation for everything else you give.
